New Year's Humor
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From www.guy-sports.comShared by Wheenk! |
Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2008: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2010: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I will work out 3 days a week.
2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
A New Year Prayer
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
A New Year’s Wish
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that at the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
