From CleanHumor.com Shared by Wheenk!

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

Posted by Wheenk! at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Shared by Wheenk!

To Do List:
Two men escaped a prison in Vermont. When they were caught in New York City, they were found with this “To Do” list:

1. Drive to Maine
   
2. Get Safer place to stay
   
3. buy guns
   
4. Get Marie
   
5. Get car in Dartmouth
   
6. Do Robbery
   
7. Go to New York
   

Speeding Ticket:
A driver was speeding and was unknowingly caught in a speed trap that measured his speed with radar and photographed his car. In the mail, he received a ticket for $100, along with a photograph of his car. He sent the ticket back with a photograph of a $100 bill. He then received a letter from the police department with a photograph of hand cuffs. He paid the ticket.

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Don’t Forget To Pay Attention:
A man thought that the best time to steal a car would be when the driver was getting out of it. He watched a woman stop and park her car. He approached the car, attempting to steal it. The problem was that the driver was in the process of attaching an anti theft device to the steering wheel. She used it to beat him over the head. He was arrested and charged with robbery, assault and grand larceny.

Posted by Wheenk! at 09:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)